The worst kind of spring fever

Rahul Zota & Danielle White

Who wouldn’t love springtime
with the flowers blooming, children
playing and the ice cream trucks? The
answer: a lot of people.
Yes, spring is great in some cases,
like going on spring break and seeing
all the cute little baby animals. But in
most cases, it’s like a curse: a curse of
constant sunshine and brightness and
greenery.
Flowers blooming–great right?
No. Flowers blooming leads to pollen
which leads to yellow cars and allergies
which leads to nothing good, ever.
Like the saying goes: April showers
bring May flowers and May flowers
bring itchy, watery eyes, runny
noses and sneezing which bring out
nasal spray, lack of tissues and having
absolutely no desire to be outdoors
for more than two and a half minutes.
Children playing in the street
right outside your house is fine, unless
you’re trying to watch TV and drink
green tea in peace and all you can
hear is, “I’m telling,” “It’s my turn,”
or, “How long has that smallish hippo
been giving us the evil eye from the
window? And who gave it tea?”
Ice cream trucks are great, until
you’re napping and out of nowhere,
you hear the most enticing melody
of all time calling to you like a Siren
song. Despite the fact that you
aren’t wearing shoes, you must run
full speed on the sharp pavement to
please your craving for cheaply packaged,
unrecognizable ice cream cartoon
characters.
With the change from winter to
spring, you have to carefully plan
your daily ensembles. In the morning,
it’s 40 degrees and as soon you
leave from school, it’s 70 degrees and
you’re burning. How is someone supposed
to dress for two completely
different temperatures? Is that even
possible?
You go from wearing a scarf, jacket
and even a sweater in the morning, to
wearing your jeans rolled up, jacket
and sweater balled up in your backpack
with your scarf on your head for
use as one of those headbands that
people wear in desert movies.
Then, one day, it’s as sunny as can
be and with the snap of your fingersyou
got rain. With that sun and rain
combo usually comes humidity, and
no one likes humidity.
If that’s not bad enough, imagine
all those stupid little green silk worms
that dangle from and crawl on every
possible surface on this green Earth.
And then there’s every other gross,
slimy, annoying, filthy, monstrous,
evil, scary, dirty, disgusting and horrendous
bug. Nobody likes bugs except
for entomologists (but nobody
likes them either).
Some people may say, “Hey, you
get to listen to the beautiful singing of
the birds!” No, I get to have annoying
birds disturbing my sleep.
Others say, “Hey, you get to have
picnics now!” Yeah, I am definitely
going to go eat outside with the bugs
and the pollen. While I am at, it I’ll
probably get myself a heat stroke, just
for the heck of it.
I’ll probably hear someone tell
me, “Hey, you get to finally have a
lawn again!” Woo! A lawn! But guess
what? A lawn doesn’t mow itself.
Think a little.
But probably the worst part of
spring is that it’s so close to summer.
When you think of spring, you
think of summer. When you think
of summer, you think of no school.
Then it hits you–EXAMS. Not just
SOLs and not just final exams–no, no,
no! AP and IB exams.
So enjoy your break and your babies
while they still make up for all
of your suffering. Try not to cry too
much, spring will be over soon.

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