Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a couple: Wang Johnson and Yolanda Smith. The day was February 14, better known as the day of self-pity.
Wang was preparing for his voluptuous Valentine’s Day with Yolanda. He was setting up the candles symmetrically, ordering heart shaped foods, renting the most Valentiny movies, finding the best gift to demonstrate his love, selecting the most beautiful flowers, picking the most scrumptious chocolates and even making sure the tone of the music was perfect.
The day he had been waiting for had arrived. The candles were set perfectly. The heart shaped candies came in and were still, in fact, heart shaped. He had “The Notebook,” a Pandora bracelet and classic roses.
The chocolates he bought were so peanut buttery and scrumptious, he had to buy another box because he finished the first one himself. He almost loved the music he picked out more than he loved Yolanda.
Yolanda arrived and Wang was waiting with the roses. Yolanda loved the roses and read the note. The note said, “I love you, Mom.”
“I’m sorry,” Wang said, “They must have messed up the note.”
After the whole note conundrum, it was time for the chocolate. Yolanda admired the elaborately decorated box. Then she noticed that the text on the box said, “Delectible Choclate for That Special Somewon (sic).” Yolanda took a step back and then fainted.
Twenty minutes later, when she finally awoke, Wang questioned why she fainted. Yolanda then proceeded to go on a giant rant about how her poor, fragile heart could not handle those atrocious typos.
At this point, the mood was almost completely dead. Wang needed a win here, he needed to make this day special and romantic. He reminded Yolanda of the candle-lit dinner.
He brought in his special heart-shaped Eggplant Parmesan and spaghetti. Yolanda felt relieved. This dinner looked magnificent.
For dessert, Wang brought out the heart shaped candies. To his dismay, it wasn’t until after he handed Yolanda a piece that said, “U R A 6,” that he realized they were anti-Valentine’s candy hearts with insulting and demeaning messages printed on them.
Yolanda was ready to end it right there when Wang fell to his knees and tried to explain his honest mistake. Thankfully, Yolanda is very understanding.
Wang did not give up on the night. He believed that “The Notebook” could still save that magical night.
After they made popcorn, watched all the trailers, and got super comfortable, it was time for the movie.
After the first utterance of “If you’re a bird I’m a bird,” Yolanda looked to Wang only to see him drowning in his own tears. Wang was crying so much that he got dehydrated and fainted.
When Wang awoke, he explained how, after all of that preparation trying to make the night perfect, his eyes started sweating.
Even though this was one of the WORST Valentine’s Days ever, Wang and Yolanda are still going strong. It definitely didn’t go as planned, but it’s the thought that counts