No puns? Fine, China.

Danielle White

When it comes to writing news
articles, China’s media has groan
up (get it?) – it’s far too old for silly
jokes – so now, the use of puns in
news articles is no longer allowed
to be made in China – at least in
its media.
This new restriction is not a
PUNishment (ha) for news writers
– it’s all in the name of communication.
The Chinese language
is full of homophones, so puns can
easily be misinterpreted by those
who use the punny articles to learn
the language.
Besides, individuals who already
speak Chinese and use the
news articles as a source for actual
news probably think that the puns
in their newspapers are just tearable
(get it?).
Some Lucky Cats (heh) give
China’s media five stars for their
new restriction (specifically, one
big star surrounded by the other
four in the upper left corner of a
red flag) [See what I did there?],
while others believe that the use of
puns lettuce (wink) make humorous
art out of every-day vocabulary.
By imposing a media ban, China
is putting up a Great Wall (LOL)
between the people and their basic
civil rice (*nudge nudge*), which
is just plain wrong-Kong (I’m on a
[spring] roll!).
The Chinese government
should expect to fire-work (wink)
to prevent individuals who panda
(ha) chop-stick (HA) it to the manda
(another good one from me)
from uprising.
The final thing that the Chinese
government needs is a bunch
of citizens wok-ing around with
their picket signs and their Jackie
Chants (zing!).
Any reporter that wontons
(that’s a good one) to use any puns
in his or her story better watch his
or her back, because he or she never
knows who may be Peking into
his or her work (double whammy),
because he or she could be dragon
his or herself to court (I’m on fire
You’re probably tired of me
making puns about China’s mein
chow, but I say, “General Tso
what?” (Wow, I’m clever).
Lettuce (I’ve heard this pun
before…Asia-vu) just be thankful
that banning puns in America goes
against our constitutional rights
and is therefore ill-eagle (Good
one, me).

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