New year, new fears

Rahul Zota

Don’t you just hate it when, on the
first day of school, you walk into some
random classroom accidentally? Just
imagine it, the first day. You don’t
know where any classes are and the
bad possibilities are endless.
You could walk into a class with 20
seniors looking at you with disbelief,
just staring you down, or into a class
with all your friends, just to find out
you’re in the wrong room. The embarrassment
could probably kill you
on the spot.
In seconds, the classroom becomes
the class of doom. You know what
they say about a first impression: you
only have one attempt to make a good
one. If you screw up, you’re done.
Alternately, if you walk into a class
with people you hate and find out it’s
not your class, you would be so happy
that nothing would turn your smile
upside down.
Or… imagine that one of your
friends who jokes with you a great
deal tells you that you have first lunch,
when you actually have second lunch.
You go to lunch in full belief of
his or her advice, take a seat, have a
good lunch, then go to your class.The
teacher asks where you were.
What do you say to her? Nothing
you say can make it right.
You blame your friend. The teacher
says, “If your friend told you to
jump off a cliff, would you?”
You say, “I thought I heard that
we had first lunch on the announcements.”
The teacher looks at the class and
asks, “Did you guys hear that?”
The class says no. Leave it to your
fellow comrades to throw you under
the bus. This is probably the worst
situation you can ever be in, because
there is no way out of it.
It’s the first class of the next day.
You’re coming into the classroom,
ready to have a great class and make
a great first impression. You think to
yourself, “Nothing can stop me. Today,
I am flawless.”
You high five a random person in
the hallway just because you feel on
top of the world.
BOOM-you trip and fall. Everything
You look around to make sure nobody
saw you, but you suddenly hear
laughter. Everybody in the class is
looking at you on the ground, laughing
and pointing. Another unescapable
You could try to play it off like you
meant to faceplant, but most people
are able to see right through you. You
could attempt to make tripping your
“thing,” but you would eventually
just hurt yourself.
Finally you reach your final
class. You are reviewing basic
math. Every time the teacher asks a
question-BOOM-your hand shoots
up. Every single word that comes out
of your mouth comes out with two
hundred percent confidence. You feel
Then, the teacher asks, “How do I
calculate slope?”
You think to yourself, “Ha! Easy.”
You raise your hand. She calls on you.
You say, “Y=mc squared.”
The whole class turns around and
looks at you. That’s when it hits you
that you got it wrong.
You try to redeem yourself, but
you’re cut off by one of your classmates
who says the correct formula.
Now, whenever the teacher asks
for the slope, she never calls on you.
When she says, “Anybody need extra
help with slope?” she will look at
you. For the rest of the year, you’ll be
known as “The guy who doesn’t know
the slope formula.” And it’s all downhill
from there.

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