Ghosts and Ghouls are to Be Easily Fooled

Danielle White

Halloween is just about here and the little monsters, so-called “younger siblings,” are finding it hard to con­tain themselves. Despite the laughter of little children, many home-owners are reluctant to prepare for this joyous holiday.

Halloween specials have aired non-stop during the entire month of October and spirit is in the air. It wouldn’t be a stretch to say that some of the older individuals’ inner children have been awakened by this festive holiday.

Sure, dressing up is fun and every­thing, but the best part about Halloween for all ages is wandering outside late at night and receiving free candy from strangers. Using their little siblings as an excuse to go trick-or-treating, young adults prepare their pillowcases for the mounds of treasure they will acquire on their late-night trek.

As groups of trick-or-treaters swarm the house of the nice elderly couple handing out entire candy bars as the crafty family down the street distrib­utes home-made goody bags, it seems as though some houses are purposely being skipped over.

Who would dare to pass up an op­portunity for free candy? After all, candy does not discriminate. Candy is not proud or self-seeking. So the un­prejudiced candy hunters venture to the not-so-popular houses, only to find the real reasoning behind their comrades’ aversions.

The first house is painted a distinct yellow and the pumpkins are carved with peace signs and world maps. The environmental-friendly residents drop raisins into childrens’ bags and it is evident that they are less than pleased. Who has ever gotten a sugar rush from eating dried-up grapes?

At the next house lives a dentist who gives out cheap toothbrushes and floss to the trick-or-treaters who “should not be eating so much sugar.” The same spiel is given by the health nuts giving out tasteless granola bars and individ­ual fruits.

Perhaps it is time to stop visiting every house and just go to the popular ones. This becomes more tempting af­ter the young, sloppy bachelor gives out tiny wound patches and the exception­ally religious family, whose kids are not allowed to have any Halloween fun, passes out written prayers that may or may not be in English.

The night grows older and it’s al­most time to return home. Six-year-olds who now weigh less than the buckets and sacks full of candy they lug around are becoming sleepy. There’s only one last house to hit before retreating back to home base.

This house is decorated sufficiently and it was one of the houses ravaged by little super heroes and princesses earli­er. A lone sheriff stands patiently at the door with his mommy waiting on the sidewalk. The door opens.

A man puts something in the bag. Wait; is that–a plastic shovel? The man at the door says, “Sorry, kid. We ran out of candy.” The little, puny sheriff ac­cepts the consolation with a sigh and returns sluggishly home in his trusty minivan.

humor reporter


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